So, I haven't been posting here a lot lately, and this is because the last few months or so, I have upgraded my LJ account from 'archive' to 'blog + archive.' It's just...easier that way. But whether or not you want to follow me there, I urge you to read the post I just made, because I really want as many people's opinions on it that I can get. It's a debate and it won't be solved easily, I don't think...

http://amethyst-drop.livejournal.com/42556.html

Oh fandom, how strange thou art.

i...my...my thesis grade has single-handedly prevented me from getting summa.

that is to say, i single-handedly. but.

i recalculated my grade with my projected grades for this semester, and pretending i hadn't done a thesis at all...and i would have gotten summa.

if i had just...let go. and not done a thesis. why did i do a thesis?

i know it's not the end of the world, but there's nowhere on this campus where i can go and scream in peace.

there's no privacy.

i would have been all right if it had only counted once against me, but it counted TWICE against me. the grade has twice the weight of any other.

where can i go and scream?

everything is....nothing is...*sigh* i don't know what to say.

shit just keeps...piling on.

i haven't wanted to run away so much since i actually did run away summer of '01. except, then i was running away from an oppressive situation created by my parents. now? well, you can't run away from life, can you? not when people are depending on you. including your parents.

cheap flights to australia, studentuniverse? i'm so there.

it's my ardent desire, anyway.

Quote of the Day:

Don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy, we'll all float on all right...and we'll all float on anyway.

~Modest Mouse, "Float On"

today in italian class we had a guest speaker who hails from rome. i guess i don't really notice the accents of  our professors because we hear their voices all the time. but to hear an outsider with a noticeable accent...well...let's just say, after having talked to people afterwards, i wasn't the only one longing to go back to the boot.

roma, roma! la mia visita era troppo breve. ma ho gettato la moneta nella fontana. allora...la prossima volta...[dovra' essere una prossima volta]...rimanero'. non per sempre, ma rimanero'.

Quote of the Day:

"Nessun maggior dolore che ricordarsi del tempo felice ne la miseria." ~Francesca, from the fifth canto of Dante's Commedia  ["There is no greater sorrow than to remember a happy time in misery."]

"Comfort? Comfort scorned of devils! This is the truth the Poet sings,
That a sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." Tennyson, citing the above passage in his Lockseley Hall

so...i just watched the bbc 5-hour pride and prejudice...and i am somewhat ashamed to say i'm a convert. i'm uncertain whether to attribute the snappy dialogue to austen or the script-adapter. my guess would be the latter judging upon the time i tried to force myself to read some of the former's works...of course, now i feel i must give her another chance.

relatedly, seeing period films like that always had that element of fantasy and nostalgia. but now, after having been in europe for a longer period of time and having seen many more things...well, that element of fantasy has been eliminated. somehow it makes it harder to watch. they aren't walking on empty properties full of movie sets. and i dare say one of the manors was larger even than kensington [which i have personally touched, and know is real].

and now outside it's snowing a full, fluffy snow, and visibility is so low, that if one looks out behind campus over the valley and towards the mountains, well...it seems our building sits on the edge of an unknowable land veiled by heavily-sitting fog.

of course, on a night in which i feel poetically inclined, i must catch up on my schoolwork.

Quote of the Day:

When I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean'd my teeming brain,
Before high-piled books, in charactery,
Hold like rich garners the full ripen'd grain;
When I behold, upon the night's starr'd face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And think that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love;--then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think
Till love and fame to nothingness do sink.
~John Keats

(i saw the building where he died, you know...)